Pillars
by Dorylus
Summary: The Times of Old broke many able men, but through trials and tribulations the rest were forged into beings of character - three in particular. Variable-genre drabbles based on skill descriptions for the Avatar challenge paths and the lore of the respective figures. Open to suggestions. Indefinite - will always be listed as complete.
1. Obsession - Jarlsberg

**Pillars**

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**Jarlsberg** \- **Obsession**

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Jarlsberg was fairly stable for most of his childhood, but signs of deeper psychoses sometimes made themselves evident - an anal arrangement of books here, a nervous breakdown there. Many people assumed it was a by-product of his uncanny and inscrutable levels of genius. The insecurities came to a breaking point during one innocuously important evening.

Exhausted from a long day's contemplation of the universe, Jarlsberg perused his house for a piece of cheese, and, eating it, he didn't notice until too late that he had absent-mindedly riddled the morsel with bacteria, an innate talent performed without any mana or humorous gesticulation. One bite was enough to cause infection.

The sickness lasted only a few days - mages often possessed innate resistance to the effects of their own spells - but the mental scars were to last much longer than the vomiting and malaise. In the aftermath, almost every waking moment was spent immaculately grooming and cleaning his possessions and cowering in fear at anything that suggested disease. If not for his breakthroughs in ethereal food and beverage conjuration to follow, he might well have starved. Few historians knew how close one of the archetypal elders came to death by malnutrition, nor how damaged the most outwardly sane of the legendary trio was. It was only thanks to the hidden determination common to the folk of the Times of Old that he got through the bullying.


	2. Sharp - Boris

**Pillars**

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**Boris** \- **Sharp**

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Boris wasn't renowned for his intelligence, observational skills or witty rejoinders (although he could drop in a pop-culture reference as well as anyone else, his home being the Kingdom of Loathing and all). However, he was unmistakably sharp in one sense - in his use of an axe. That, or bulging biceps and threats of violence, was all he needed to settle any debate he found himself in.

Trusty wasn't the first axe he ever owned, but it was the last. There was no special inherent property to it - it was merely there during an unusually dire battle, but it won him his survival, so Boris grew attached to it and named it. The actual construction didn't matter to him.

As he refined his axing technique (i.e. started a fight with a random person or creature), Boris chanced upon a very interesting technique. When he tensed up his axe muscles and swung Trusty at just the right speed and angle, it rebounded on impact with a vibration that carried to Boris' forearms, causing the axe muscles to quiver pleasantly. He never again faced an opponent without using the technique at least once, and his physique reflected it. The frequent exposure toughened up those axing muscles almost as much as his ridiculously overboard consumption of raw eggs and meat, contributing to his legendary strength.


	3. Approval - Sneaky Pete

**Pillars**

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**Sneaky Pete** \- **Approval**

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Contrary to what Sneaky Pete liked to think, he seemed to be spectacularly blessed by the genes of coolness, having an uncanny instinct toward doing the most audaciously awesome thing in a given situation, whether or not it was honourable or smart. Like any kind of gift, he made it perfect through practice. His hairstyles caught on, his clothes defined fashion in the Times of Old, and when he smiled, the gleam off his teeth was enough to blind passing birds and cause them to crash (even indoors and in total darkness).

Sneaky Pete was the epitome of a role model. He drew crowds of fans without lifting a finger. Depending on his moods, as mercurial as those of the Gods, he variously threw parties with his followers, shamelessly irritated them or just outright ignored them in favour of his own business. Here, own business usually meant attempting to get rich, going free-riding or making a spirited attempt at assassinating his liver with hard liquor.

A few of those followers were so devoted that they became a constant presence. Sneaky Pete staged a makeshift ceremony officially declaring them his personal studio audience. The audience agreed unanimously, but they cheered even more earnestly when Sneaky Pete turned to face them and offered a thousand-meat wink.


End file.
